This is one of a series I post whenever I see something uproariously funny on YouTube. Unfortunately, that doesn’t happen very often! But enjoy it while it lasts! This was posted by the Daily Show yesterday. Transcription is below the video. The part I did not transcribe is also pretty amusing, but I think Dulce wins the Internet with this one.
Beginning at 4:15:
Trevor: We've gone from "I never sexually assaulted anyone" to "I was a virgin for most of my life". For more on this development, we turn to our Chief Supreme Court analyst, Dulce Sloan.
-snip-
Dulce: It's become clearer and clearer every day that the Republican party needs to find a replacement nominee.
Trevor: So you think these sexual assault allegations are disqualifying.
Dulce: Yes, Trevor! But I think that being a virgin is also disqualifying. I don't want no virgin on the Supreme Court! A virgin deciding our reproductive rights, are you serious? How are you going to tell a college girl what to do with her vagina when you never met college vagina? I mean, Trevor, would you want someone deciding on health care who has never seen a doctor? No, you want someone who has had sex with a doctor. Only doctors, you know, getting that full coverage.
-snip-
Trevor: But Judge Kavanaugh said he was a virgin then, he's not a virgin now.
Dulce: How do you know, did you sleep with him?
Trevor: Well not yet, but I know he's not a virgin. I mean, he has kids.
Dulce: Many people got kids, Trevor.
-snip-
Dulce: You ask me, that man is still a virgin.
Trevor: So your biggest issue here is his virginity?
Dulce: I got three issues:
His stance on women's rights, Strike 1.
The sexual assault allegations, Strike 2.
And this fool being a virgin, unh unh, You're Out.
Look, I don't want a sexual predator, but I also don't want a virgin, okay? I want that Goldilocks judge, you know, just right.
Trevor: I see. So you want a Supreme Court judge who is getting laid, but consensually.
Dulce: Mm hmm. You know, like Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
Heh. I have to agree! Please feel free to discuss below. Or anything else about the state of our current government at which you would like to poke fun.
